Monday, June 27, 2011

Mr. Mayor, you suck.

To the Honorable Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York - Asshat of the Day.

Congratulations, sir. You've gotten one step closer to making the LES uninhabitable by the working poor of the neighborhood. I'm sure it'll be grand when all the "dirty poor people" are gone and replaced by Wall Streeters looking for an easy commute.

Gone will be the former tenements that provide living history lessons for the last unique neighborhood in Manhattan. Those buildings will be replaced by slick glass and steel.

You, dear sir, have drawn my ire this day for the dislocation of a rightly proud man and a neighborhood icon. Jeffery's Meats closed a for good a few days ago. It seems Jeff couldn't swing the 30% increase in his rent.

It's not unusual for businesses to get priced out of their neighborhoods. The new twist for me, is watching the City of New York play the role of greedy landlord.

Councilwoman Chin spoke up for Jeff, reminding the bureaucrats & your flying monkeys of the fact that his family has been an occupant of the Essex Market since it's inception in the 40's. She also pointed out he felt he had to keep his prices as low as possible to service the denizens of Delancey. She told how he taught classes for free to anyone that would attend techniques that would make lesser cuts of meat more tender and flavorful. For that, I give the Councilwoman a big thumbs up for actually trying to do right by her constituency. To the uncaring douchebags at City Hall that lick the boots of the Emperor, I offer my contempt.

I will admit I may be biased. I consider Jeff my friend. But so do the hundreds, if not thousands of people that would seek him out to learn to better provide for their families, to be regaled with stories and be treated not as a customer, but a cherished family member.

Your lackeys say all the tenants rents must be raised due to the financial hardships the city faces. God forbid the Mayors vanity projects such as the Highline be put on hold. Yes, it's nice. I don't think it will provide provide free Thanksgiving dinners for neighbors that would otherwise do without, though. I don't think the ill-fated 2nd Ave line will help feed hungry families on a nightly basis, either, since I'm doubtful it will even be completed in my lifetime.

With Jeff's departure, the neighborhood got a little less livable for the people that kept it alive during the bad times of the 70s, 80s & early 90s. The city has lost an institution...a raconteur icon...a friend

I understand you dont care about the people in Manhattan that can't afford Whole Foods. We all know the goal is to save the island for the "haves" while the "have nots" are shuffled out on the J train. It's a much brighter city for you when "the help" departs for their "new" barrios in the outer boroughs. I get where you're coming from, Mr. Mayor, and it sickens me.

I'm assuming the rent increases will force out all the current tenants, eventually. The seafood stall, the muffin men, the barbers, the grocer will, I predict, become an endangered species fairly swiftly. When that comes to pass, your cronies can continue the glass and steel debacle you've already started.

If there's any irony in the world, you'll be squashed like a bug under an improperly secured crane when you attend the ground-breaking of one of the monstrosities you so dearly love. If there's any justice in the world, you'll be buried in a public lot so I can drink a shot to your demise, smoke a cigarette and stub it on your headstone, then piss on your grave, you heartless son of a bitch.

I occasionally joke about hoping an asshat "dies in a fire". I'm not going to make that joke today, because I can', to hell with it. I hope you die in a fire, you piece of shit.

With all due respect, of course.